i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
