I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
