I have demons in me.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
