In the future we'll all be gay
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
