she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
