I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
