New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
