i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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