Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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