Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize