I am puke
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
