how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
