Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
