Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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