marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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