I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Randomize
