Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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