I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
