Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
It's rum buckets o'clock
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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