Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
