if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
