Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Randomize
