Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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