You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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