Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
