mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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