Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize