I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
