You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize