3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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