i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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