so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
No subtext here. People are naked.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
