I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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