Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
