Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
i think my cat just said my name.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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