playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
