i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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