video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
