I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
