dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
