I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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