he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Boobs speak an international language.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
