OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
