i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
