When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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