did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
