i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
