so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
