I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm just crazy horny about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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