BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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