butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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