What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
