We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
