I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up backwards on a recliner
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
