god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
love makes seman taste better
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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