I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
smell my finger.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
