They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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