I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
