I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
