Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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